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Boys, Mums and Fantasy

By Ian Lillico

Boys have a real need to bond with their mothers and society often forces them to grow up too quickly. Mums tend to know how their boys are doing emotionally and are often torn between societal expectations and their instincts. Wiliam Pollack's research clearly shows that Mums know.

A boy is often expected to grow up too quickly in our society and this doesn't give him the resilience he needs to survive when things get tough. Albert Einstein said "If you want yor children to be bright, read them fairytales - if you want them to be brilliant, read them even more fairytales" Fantasy is a resilience factor in boys and girls lives but is particularly imortant for boys as they are growing up.

Dads sometimes worry that their sons are engaging in too much make believe but this can only make them well adjusted and Dads needn't worry. When they get caught for speeding, when their girlfriend gives them the flick and the boss doesn't extend their contract, many boys find no purpose in continuing with life and often indulge in risk taking behaviours even suicide as they cannot escape the reality that faces them. If they can find refuge in some fantasy or religion or spirituality they can often survive the incidents and it has been shown that boys who are allowed to fantasise and are brought up in an environment of fantasy and wonder are much more resilient than those who are not.

Mums and Dads can be assured that their sons are OK when having make- believe friends and when getting involved in all types of fantasy. All children can separate fantasy from reality and parents who decide not to lie to their sons about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny are doing their boys a disservice. In a continually harsh world with negative influences and a doom and gloom mentality are children need to escape reality occassionally to kep them optimistic. When a boy loses his optimism schoolwork, relationships and other things become purposeless.